How much of an absolute unit is Absolute Batman? A Newsarama investigation
Oct. 14, 2024Just how big is Juiced Up Bruce?
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DC’s newAbsolute Batmanis huge. Cue up everyone shouting “How huge is he?” as if this was the setup for a joke… Except we actually spent the time to try to answer this, for real. Because as soon as the brand new take on the Dark Knight was first revealed by writer Scott Snyder and artist Nick Dragotta, most of the discussion revolved around how Absolute Batman is an Absolute Unit. Snydereven mentions it in our interview.
While we only have one issue of data to work from so far, we went to the lab to comb through Absolute Batman #1 and came up with a comparative size range for Juiced Up Bruce, based on things he’s standing next to throughout the issue. So read on to find out if Absolute Batman really is the size of the giant penny usually seen in Batman’s Batcave. Mildspoilersahead…
Page #9: He’s bigger than a punching bag
The first time we meet Absolute Bruce, there’s a guy who we’resupposedto think is him, hitting a punching bag in Croc’s Gym. Then, in walks our Big Boi himself and proceeds to pound the bag so hard it breaks. Though it’s hanging off the ground, the average hanging punching bag is about four to five feet tall – shorter than Bruce, who is also wider. As one on-looker says: “Damn.”
On the very next page, Batman does a very impressive split as he kicks two henchmen in the face at once. And each of his legs is about the size of one of the henchmen. Again, to emphasize: we don’t know how big the henchmen are, it’s possibly Black Mask is employing children. But we prefer to think that Batman’s thighs are just chonked out beyond belief.
To misquote the Genie in Aladdin: Absolute Batman has infinite girth… Itty bitty little face. The extremely manga-influenced look of AB gives him a swole body and a normal-sized head, something we can see when he holds a discarded Black Mask thug’s mask up to his face like he’s Hamlet with Yorick’s skull, and they’re the same size.
After his first mission as Batman, we see Bruce in a number of different situations as Alfred Pennyworth tracks him remotely. At his construction job, he’s notquiteas wide as the blueprints he’s holding. His hands seem normal when holding a phone on the train ride home (unless he has an iPhone Large or something). But when he exits the train he has to duck on his way out. In NYC, the average train car door is about 6' 2" tall, which, yep, he’s taller than that (as we’ll get to in a second).
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Nope, sorry, he’s as big as the moon, as you can plainly see after he crashes his enormous motorcycle out of a glass building. Case closed?
Absolute Batman #1 is out now from DC.
Absolute Batman #1 is packed full of surprises. Find out all about themin our issue breakdown.
Alex Zalben has previously written for MTV News, TV Guide, Decider, and more. He’s the co-host and producer of the long-running Comic Book Club podcast, and the writer of Thor and the Warrior Four, an all-ages comic book series for Marvel.
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