The Baldur's Gate 3 patch notes didn't mention the most important change, but players sure found it: penis physics
Dec. 1, 2023Jiggle physics for all, Larian seems to say
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Baldur’s Gate 3patch 5 was jam-packed with big gameplay features likea punishing new difficulty tier, aD&D-inspired custom mode, anexpanded epilogue for the core characters, and along-awaited inventory fix. One thing the mammoth patch notes didn’t mention was enhanced penis physics, but the RPG’s tirelessly horny community spotted this change almost instantly and wasted no time putting these physically simulated bits through their paces.
I was first alerted to this important addition by a tweet shared by Larian’s director of publishing, Michael Douse, along with thousands of other physics appreciators. “Larian stealth adding c*ck physics and then just leaving us to discover that jumpscare on our own,“wroteTwitter user roach spice, immediately piquing my interest and perking up the ears of countless Baldur’s Gate 3 fans. Other players were quick to share some NSFWvideosdemonstrating the change, which looks exactly how you’d expect.
Baldur’s Gate 3 hasnever shied away from full nudity, but it also hasn’t, uh, embellished male genitalia like this before either. “Did penises always jiggle?“asksone bemused Reddit user. No! They did not! “Patch 5 - the gift that keeps on giving,” reads the top reply.
“So… I play with my male characters completely nude,“admitsanother. “Don’t judge me. Anyone else notice they have new physics? Like their dangling parts now swing back and forth as they run, walk, or even with the wind. I love it.”
“Booting up the game today and discovering there is now cock jiggling, I was sat grinning and chuckling, spinning my character around, making his handy tool flying in the wind,“addsanother. The whole Baldur’s Gate 3 subreddit is currently full of posts like this, and Larian’s clearly enjoying the chaos.
Very importantly, patch 5makes Bing Bong, the imp created in the cast’s D&D campaign, Baldur’s Gate 3 canon.
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